I like to think we live in enlightened times. Times where Germaine Greer can muck about on reality TV because she no longer needs to spout feminist stuff. She doesn't need to because we're sorted, more or less. There's still an economic and professional glass ceiling, but it's getting weaker. Chauvinism has no place in Britain anymore, hurrah hurrah...
And then yesterday at work someone commented on my desk. Given that my computer monitor is covered in pictures of dead rock stars, this is not unusual. I love how people always talk about Lynott first, because I know that they're trying to demonstrate that they know who he is. Anyway, some people talk to me about music, some ask why it's all old/dead people.
This bloke said, no word of a lie:
"So, is your boyfriend in a band, then?"
I blinked. Once, twice, possibly even three times. "What?" said I.
"Your boyfriend. Partner. In a band, is he?"
"I don't have one."
"Oh, but you... how comes you know all about this lot then?"
Fortunately for him, unfortunately for the conversation, my phone rang and by the time the call was over, he'd gone.
How dare he. I'm not with the band, I am the fucking band.
And even if I weren't musical, since when would I have to have some BLOKE show me the righteous path of rock and roll enlightenment?
Where is it written that I had to get permission? Where is it written that I couldn't possibly find them on my own? Fuck that for a game of toy soldiers. I found my boys my own way, and I don't need someone to tell me why.
I found it amusing when someone joked with me that the pictures were of 'my boyfriends'. It annoyed me on a deeper level, but it was funny and it was someone who actually understood already. But to have a stranger come and assume like that?
It's still the same as it ever was. The Blokes will let us girls dress like Beyonce and sing like Dusty. We're allowed to sing and dance, but God forbid we should write it ourselves or throw a guitar over our shoulders. Seriously guys, I know that guitars have the whole phallic thing going on, but me playing a guitar or rocking out is not a psychological cutting off of your bollocks. It's my personal opinion that the greatest rock stars have been blokes. So far. Mostly because the girls who've tried have had to spend so long fighting assumptions that the music is all about that./gross generalisation.
Germaine, come back! We still need you. Actually, fuck that. Someone give me my leather trousers and a record deal and I'll show these chauvinistic 1950s bastards how it's done.
You want someone to dress like a rock star? I already do. Just get me a hat like Slash's and I'm set. You want someone to blow an arena apart? Just show me where. You want me to party all night? I can do that. You want me to drink? Sure, mine's a Guinness. You want me to take drugs? Go ask Pete Doherty.
I didn't want it to come to this, but if I must rock your fucking socks off, I will. Challenge accepted.
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